Stalker? Stalkee? Stalk Who?


This is a post I had written last year in September. The latest update will follow soon…..

So about 4 months ago, I obtained a brand new neighbour.

Circumstances necessitating his arrival  involved CID investigation for murder – but that’s a story for another day. So my caretaker introduced me to this guy who was now going to be my neighbour. From the amount of time I saw them talking, I am sure he was also given the same drill I was given when I moved, of ‘Here, people mind their own business and don’t disturb each other and if you want KELENDIT (credit) for electricity, just go to OSUMI (Uchumi)’…btw, and that’s how my caretaker is refered to by my friends, OSUMI.

So I have been pestering my caretaker to allow me to paint rainbow colours in my house and he has been defiant in his refusal. Until my new neighbour rocks in, lets call him C. So as soon as C is confirmed as my new neighbour, I started noticing ‘shots’ of colour from the paint that the painters leave out at night. Of course I confronted Osumi and he informed me that it was now okay to do my rainbow thing.

A week later, Osumi and I paid an unannounced visit to C’s house to check out the paint work at C’s house. I was just busy minding my own business when Osumi checked in and announced that we were going to C’s house to check out how a certain painter had done his house. (The said painter was there – and THAT is ANOTHER!!!!!! story all together!). So, we found C lounging at his house watching MTV Base and he allowed us free reign of his house. I checked out everything including the wardrobes – believe me, I concentrated on the paint work and didn’t look at anything else, I promise. I guess that’s what freaked him out.

After that, I started noticing that everytime he got in or out of his house, he would make a super sonic dash between the gate and his house. Especially if he heard my door making a sound suggesting that I was about to leave.  At first, I thought that it was because he was worried that I would ask to ‘visit’ his house again but then decided that the thought was as silly as it sounded. Then I reasoned that his girlfriend (who I had met when I went to ask her to open the door for Hipilicious – I was going out – by the way, yeah, I know ‘ minding own business blah blah notwithstanding!’) had told him that he is no longer allowed to help out his neighbours.

Till I confirmed my suspicions. For those who know about me being the founding member of the Derrick Society (DS) would think that at some point or another I must be a stalker of sorts…….. But I PROMISE, I didn’t / haven’t / wouldn’t stalk C. Back to my story. So now, yesterday, just as I am leaving my house to work, I heard C opening his door. Then he must have heard me opening my door. I wish I had a soundtrack to insert here to help you  understand what happened after! There was such a major commotion downstairs that one would have thought that the main gate was being vandalised. So by the time I went down the stairs, he was not at the gate. So I unlocked the padlock (again! If he had just waited for me, there would be no need for double work…. 🙂 ………) got out and locked it.

And I saw him nearly sprinting away from the estate. Ok……got into Funz and drove out of the estate, I was very surprised to see that he had already disappeared. As in HOW fast did he have to run to pull this off? Not to worry…… but when I turned into the main road, I caught a glimpse of him waaaaaaay ahead and he was walking very fast. Not only that, but he kept on looking behind, you know like how in movies when one is suspicious that he is being followed by the bad guys, one keeps on looking behind and ducking into stores, etc? Yeah. Now the worse part is, when he saw I was within 100 metres, he ACTUALLY ducked into a kiosk!!!!! For real. Shock on my system.

So I am like, what!! Really!??? Funny enough, the kiosk he ducked into was just next to the junction so there were many cars waiting to join the road. And Funz slowed down right next to the kiosk he was in!

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