Darkness

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I have always hated the dark. I still sleep with the lights on. Really! Even with weird KPLC meters that suck the credit right out of every equipment in the house, I still sleep with the lights on. For me, a nightmare is not Freddy Krugger chasing me down a winding road in a cemetery or being hounded by zombies. For me, the nightmare is being in darkness.

Two weeks ago, Hipilicious and I went to the gym and decided to use machines that were far from each other. After about 10 minutes, KPLC did what it does best – not provide electricity and cause a blackout. Hipilicious was laughing at me after our session because she said she heard my scream from where she was. I feel so sorry for the lady who was working out on the machine next to mine. And the dude who was after her and the other dude, etc…. 🙂

When I was in about class 4 or 5, I really upset Mrs. Adrian (I can’t remember why) and she was too upset to even follow her normal punishment routine. Her normal punishment routine was:

1. You know you’ve done something wrong, right?

2. Go select 5 pieces of ufito that you would like to be beaten with.

3. One would then select the ufito, go to her bed, remove all lower clothing and depending on the gravity of the situation, maybe take off all your clothes.

4. Lay on the bed and wait for Mrs. Adrian to administer her punishment.

5. Sometimes after the beating, you would have to pray and ask God to forgive you for being a bad girl.

This was the usual routine and we knew it by heart. So when you had done something wrong, you didn’t need anyone to tell you that you needed to go and get ufito. You just went and got the ufito, got naked and waited for the pain to start.

I don’t remember what I had done on this day but I must have known that she would kill me if she caught me. On this day there was no usual diplomacy of  ‘Go get the ufito‘ etc. She just rushed towards me and I realised that this was not going to be a normal beating. I was going to die! I took to my heels and went up the steps so fast she couldn’t catch up with me. I ran into my bedroom and locked the door so fast, by the time she got there it was too late, I was safe.

Njenva, open this door, NOW!

(silence)

You had better realise that you are not making things easy for yourself.

(more silence)

Are you opening this door or not?

(             s    i   l   e   n   c    e               )

I hadn’t realised by then that Mrs. Adrian is all powerful, all knowing, etc. She just went downstairs to where the main electricity switch was. She pulled down the lever. Out went the lights. She blinked. When she opened her eyes, I was standing next to her.

I had rather be killed than stay in darkness!

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7 responses »

  1. ha ha!
    And I did not know those brooms were called “ufito”
    Us guys were beaten by a water pipe. It was green and black and was kept on the curtain box in the living room!

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