Daily Archives: August 20, 2012

Grandmothers and Trees


During this long weekend, the entire Adrian family (Mrs. Adrian, Hipilicious, Skinny and I) went to the village. On our way back to town, we passed by Mr. Adrian’s family home. (Funny, just remembered now that for the first time in 20 years, I have gone to that home and didn’t check out Mr. Adrian’s grave!) Anyway, Mr. Adrian’s dad had three wives and his mother was the first wife. She is therefore the most powerful female in that homestead….. let me not digress.

A standard question Skinny, Hipilicious and I have come to expect from our three grandmothers is as follows:

Goodness, you are back and you are still standing like a tree? Didn’t we tell you last time that we expect that when you come back here you will be standing like shrub? With a tree on your side?

And we have all come up with various answers to quench their thirst for a tree but it seems that they have had it. We usually start with passing the buck from one person to another, saying, oh so and so is about to bring a tree then it moves to the other person, etc. But this time, even before we could play our usual game they said that they are tired of our lame excuses and that the next time we walked there looking like trees, they would throw stuff at us.

Thank God this time Nzepantia (I suppose his real name is Zebadiah) wasn’t mentioned. Nzepantia is the only person they know who never got married and he is some sort of a legend at about eighty years old. Usually, the question is whether we  want our family home to be known for having the first female Nzepantia. We are only thirty something where is the crisis?

I was kinda relieved because one of my grandmothers (the third wife) wasn’t there and she is the HECKLER. Well, it is sort of expected seeing as she is the youngest. So as we were walking out of the compound, I heard her shout my name from some place where she was doing some farming activities. And with a smile I turned and was about to start running towards her when I heard her shouting, ‘Who are you smiling at when you came without at tree!!!!!!!

AS IN SERIOUSLY! Let this shrub breathe! 🙂