(Edited on 27th August 2012 due to complaints of poor grammar by Hipilicious)
I got home on Friday evening for a quick change and to pick up clothes for the long weekend. I would be sleeping over at my friend Shish’s place and then travel to the village the next day. I picked up my friend Patty and as soon as we got to my parking lot, I saw Miss. P at the gate and from the looks of it, she didn’t have her house keys. She was standing next to the gate looking tired and annoyed…..
I told Patty that I thought that Miss. P’s boyfriend had locked her out of the house, poor thing. Too bad, we were making a dash to Shish’s house, we would have invited her to come over and hang out with us. NOT. So anyway, we get to the gate and Miss.P tells us that the padlock was stuck. I use the same gate as she does and that meant that I was also not able to get into the house. She decided to call C (SHE HAS HIS PHONE NUMBER!) and he told her that he would be coming in an hour. Sigh. To wait for an hour? Sigh. Then she called Osumi and tried very hard to explain the situation. The fact that she can only speak English that that Osumi can only speak his own version of English makes for a very interesting conversation to overhear. She then tells Osumi that, ‘I am with (wait for it)……..neighbour who lives below me and she is also stuck, maybe she can explain this to you better’
Breathe Njenva, breathe. She doesn’t even know my name! What did I ever do to my two neighbours! Seriously. I know their names and the drama that goes on in their lives and they don’t even know my name. Anyway, back to me explaining to Osumi how stuck we are and he says that he is in a funeral committee somewhere and that once he is done, he will come over. He also says that he will call C and ask him to come as fast as possible.
Back to staring at each other. I was cleaning out my car since we were to use it to travel the next day so some things that had been hidden in my car for long came out for a breath of fresh air….
Miss. P: Oh, so you play squash?
You are carrying a squash raquet?
Oh? This? I borrowed this from my sister because I wanted to start playing squash. But I haven’t started yet.
Really? I play squash. That is where I was rushing to and now it seems that I may not be able to.
Oh, sorry about that. Where do you play?
At this place just next to the main road.
I am jumping over the fence
Do you need help?
Yeah, just hold my stuff and give them to me over the gate
(As I peep into her paper bag and see that she has already consumed 2 cobs of roasted maize….) 🙂 Derrick Society, GO!
And Miss. P jumps over the gate. While Patty and I watch. There is no way we are going to jump over the gate just to get in to the house. Our issue is getting out, not getting in. Miss. P tries opening the gate from the inside but it is fruitless. She promises to call C and request him to hurry.
So Patty and I go into the car and we start chatting. We talk, and talk, and talk, and talk, then we start surfing the net on our respective phones. Just to realise, that it had been more than one and a half hours! Where is C? Do you know C never turned up?!!!!!! Miss. P must have called him to tell him that she had jumped over the gate but THE OTHER NEIGHBOUR WHO LIVES BETWEEN US was still not able to get into the house. And he goes like,’Huh? Who? What the h&#$), I am not coming to rescue you anymore? Whatever!” We had to wait for Osumi who was very perplexed that someone could actually jump over HIS gate and that C hadn’t come to our rescue.
Needless to say, I am convinced that Miss. P and C are out to do me in……….