ASL – Kenyan Dudes

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I know I have spoken once or twice about my online dating adventures.

Abraham once wondered out loud in my comments section, ‘ I sometimes wonder what Kenyan dudes do or say online to earn such a rep

I have decided to show you samples. Please sit down. (Real life examples!)

David —Hi

Njenva —Hi

David —Thx Babe’ wassup there?

I must have missed the memo that moved us from hi to babe.

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hi dear? you look lovely & hot. i would love to meet you: 0721—— (number blanked out for his own dignity!)

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Larry — I cannot tell ………..

He actually didn’t finish this statement. So I don’t know whether I was to get curious and then ask him what he couldn’t tell……

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Super —helo

Super —how r u my name is marc and i com from siwtzerland please to mee tu

Njenva —Hello Marc, Nice to meet you!

Super —u have skype for for chat on cam toether

Njenva — no

It would be great to check and confirm that the system doesn’t confirm that you are near Kayole then you start writing about you being from Switzerland. 

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John —msupa, mamboz

😦

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Markhunt — hi

Markhunt —ow are you?

Njenva —Good. You?

Markhunt — im not good

Njenva — That’s sad!

Markhunt —im single and hot

Njenva —Hahahaha.

Markhunt — u have skype dear?

Persistent poor spelling and being so modest about his hotness ended the conversation…..

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Ulanga — Hi sweetie,I really like your face and smile..u look beautiful.In fact, when I saw your pics, I could feel that beauty penetrating deep down inside.

Okay……… For real, you should see the photo he is referring to. I am making a monkey face with my tongue sticking out….

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Im Prince. im single. i live n work in India. exporting fabrics from here to south africa. sometimes its really boring to be alone. finding someone to buid a future with is important to me at this time. im here for real n longterm relationship. i really wonna be close to you n we can be real wit it

I can see where this is going. So to build my future with him, I would have to use Western Union money to release some fabric that is stuck somewhere….

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Praise the Lord how are you? please can we talk because am in love with you please talk to me wanna know more about you

No words.

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U’RE V BEAUTIFUL& SO CHARMING IN MY EYES. BUT KNOW THATALL WITHOUT CHRIST IS VAIN. AM ON MOBILE PLS.WOULD B HPY 2 READ FROM U

Screaming at me and then also commenting on the monkey face photo…..

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WHENEVER I TAKE LONG TO RESPOND TO ANY OF YOUR MSG, PLIZ ALERT ME ON MY PHONE 0737——. I’VE UNLIMITED ACCESS TO INTERNET, BUT DO LACK TIME FOR GETTING ONLINE UNLESS I’VE SOMETHING TO RESPOND TO. I FIND IT RATHER EASIER TO MAKE PHONE CALLS THAN SENDING MAILS. PLIZ HELP

His first message to me, but he writes like we have known each other forever

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hi praise God am ben frm kenya am single man searchin ma rib tht God has kept fo me.am born again man who practice the wad of God each dai tym i lov kids i wl be hapi f God cn giv to me n raise a family feel free to share n u cn get me on FB wd ma nems ——- —– b blessd

Ol d bst wit yo rib

*TEARING MY HAIR OUT*

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5 responses »

  1. Njenva, Njenva, Njenva, I laughed and laughed…and my heart hurt a little too. Wow, the world is full of deceit and desperation, as well as an obviously low IQ, yes?? But I still hold out hope for you, friend. Whatever you do, don’t let the crazy ones make you jaded or bitter. Praying for you, dear one.

  2. Njenva haven’t we talked about this hobby you try and ditch every so often. Kill it,bury it and forget it! I must admit though I have laughed so hard. Original comedians are out there 🙂

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