Dzariguta Ramblings

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My Dzariguta peoples were in town during the last two weeks of April and I am so sad that I only got to spend two nights with them. My aunty, two cousins, two nephews and two grandchildren (yes, I am a grandmother to about 10 kids!) were in “Meirobi” and as usual, the stories shared were just…..speechless. I now know where I got my love for sleeping in from. Now that I know that it is hereditary, I am more comfortable with my “problem”.

These’s stories have been paraphrased. I  have no idea how to translate “kumpeza tangu mchana” or “hiyoooo” to English.

Auntie Cutey’s Story

Auntie Cutey is Mrs. Adrian’s older sister. She had a long career as a nurse and I remember seeing her in her white starched uniform when I was much younger. She retired some time back (I think maybe 15 years ago!) but she has always told us the most amazing stories about what happens in a hospital. That is how I know that if I ever get admitted to hospital, someone will have to deliver my every day food. Although the food at Nairobi Hospital was nice… sigh. I digress.

When she first started working at the hospital, her father (the grandfather I never got to meet) worked at the local government offices. They would both go home for lunch at about 12.30pm then she would take a siesta while he read a newspaper. After about 30 minutes, he would wake her up and proceed to his workplace while she prepared to go back to the hospital to start the 2pm shift. One day, she was so tired so she decided not to have lunch but rather go straight to sleep. And sleep she did. She slept for long and woke up with a start. She couldn’t believe it. She had slept so much that her father had already left? Panic mode. She got out of bed quickly and put on her uniform and ran out of the house.

On the way to the hospital, she met with a couple of villagers who as it is in the village, said hi to her and asked her whether she is on her way to work and stuff. She didn’t want to linger with any one of them so she quickly said hello and moved on. When she got to the hospital, she decided to get in through the back door so that no one would notice how late she was or that the nurse she was supposed to be relieving at 2pm didn’t shout at her in front of everyone. She went straight into checking temperatures, checking levels of liquids on drips and making the children comfortable – she was in the kids ward. After she confirmed everyone was okay, the nurse who was supposed to leave at 2pm walked into the ward.

Oh, so you decided to come at this time?

Yes

Okay

And she walked away! No drama no nothing. That was when Auntie Cutey realised that she needed to go to the bathroom, there was too much tension in her body! She went into the loo and once she was done and was walking out, she realised that the floor was cold. Cold floor?! She hadn’t worn her shoes in the rush to go to work! And she had worn two belts around her waist! Just as she was wrapping her head around this, the bell rung. It was now 2pm.

 

Cousin Lily’s Story

Cousin Lily is Auntie Cutey’s last born and she is maybe a few years older than Skinny but maybe a few years younger than Hipilicious. We spent alot of time with her before I turned 9 years old and I have always considered her to be my small sister. She has two boys that I absolutely love and this time she visited with both of them. When Auntie Cutey told us about her shoeless-too early-two belts encounter, Lily burst out laughing and she told us that at least her mother didn’t want to die after realising her mistake.

Cousin Lily’s last born had just been born and he had a habit of sleeping during the day as is with babies. Lily usually took this opportunity to also get some ZZZs and this had become the usual pattern of life for her. One day when they were asleep, she felt some movement in the room and she woke up with a start. She saw a man who was leaning over through the window and was trying to reach for her son. She didn’t even think twice about it. She grabbed her son and ran out of the house as fast as she could.

One of their neighbours was seated outside his house and he saw her rushing out with the baby.

Lily, what is going on

Huh?”

Why are you outside like that?

There is a man who was trying to grab my baby through the window

So you had to get out like that!?

That was when she woke up. Or returned to her senses. Before she slept, she had taken off all her clothes. She had no idea how she had run out of the house while naked. And yes, it was a dream – there was no man near the window. What kills me about this story is how instead of running back into the house, she tried arranging her son over her body in a bid to cover her nakedness. And didn’t think of going back into the house to put on her clothes until the neighbour suggested it.

Hipilicious finds it very funny how I get so confused when someone wakes me up. I need to wake up slowly. Like in 10 minutes. When someone startles me out of sleep, I look and act like a morph of  a zombie and an alien. I usually don’t know where I am, what I am doing there or whether I was dreaming and now awake or was awake and now dreaming, etc. I have learnt my lesson the hard way. I don’t get into the kitchen until at least 15 minutes have passed from when I open my eyes. The days I have gone straight there have been the days God has saved me from starting a fire, cutting myself or breaking crockery. I also don’t talk for about an hour or two in the mornings – I am not a morning person and if by mistake I didn’t gradually wake up then I might just snap at someone or tell a secret.

What I find hilarious is how Skinny looks like when she wakes up, especially when she has slept for fewer hours than normal. If only I could put up a photo. But that would just be plain mean. Like if someone recorded me if they woke me up and I wasn’t ready. SHIVERS!

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