Monthly Archives: November 2014

Violence – Just Kidding?


I was on a Skype call with 2 male colleagues and I kept on forgetting the name of one position that we are looking to fill. I kept on referring to it as Manager while it was Advisor.

So, we will need to speak to the Manager candidates… oops, Advisor candidates…

Is that the Manager position?

Njenva, Advisor!

Sorry, Advisor!

Okay, so who will speak to the Manager

Seriously Njenva!? Advisor

Sigh, I need to totally take that Manager word out of my brains

I know a solution for that! It comes in a bottle!

Oh, thank goodness, I thought you’d say it comes packaged in a boxing glove.

Excuse me? I am not a violent person and I don’t advocate for violence against women.

Just kidding.


I felt so lame with that “Just kidding” come back. And it got me really worried. Is it ingrained in me to expect violence from others when I make a mistake? Do I have violent tendencies that are buried deep within my subconscious? I remember a time when I was having a discussion with my nguruvati and dzariguta cousins and both sides had examples as to when they think it is okay for a man to beat or as one said, provide just a small slap, to a woman. And these are people who are in their teens and early twenties. Not old geezers with old school mentality. No. Young generation Y and Z, Miley Cyrus and Justin Beiber worshiping youngsters. And I thought myself to be better than them. But my subconscious betrayed me – I should not joke about gender violence because it is a serious thing.

It is not right for any man or woman to use violence on any man or woman. That is why we evolved and are different beings from monkeys and baboons. We can use words. If things are too hot, take a break, breathe then go back and use your words wisely. God help Kenya especially now with the idlers stripping women just because their dressing style is not what the idlers fancy.

We need to learn how to use our hands to love and not to hurt.