If you are a dude, just go read something else, this will not make sense.
It is hard to find a good eyebrows expert – tell me about it, I have been walking around with two caterpillars on my forehead for nearly 2 years.
The last person I trusted massacred my already scarce eyebrows – I have hypothyroidism, do you know how hard it is to grow hair? I waited and waited and waited and waited and no eyebrows were growing out to fill the nuked area.
I thought I was hiding it well, but nope.
When Nas heard I was going on a date, she told me to have fun and asked me to do my eyebrows. She didn’t even ask me to stay safe or be nice. She asked me to do my eyebrows.
My new friend Abz told me they had a new preacher at their church. She’s new to East Africa so she is still learning about Kenyans, Ugandans, Tanzanians, etc. Anyway, she told me that the preacher must be from my Kenyan tribe because she was fat and had no eyebrows. I get the fat part. But the no eyebrows one? That stung.
My old friend Jo took me to get my eyebrows done and when she saw me a year later, I had not done anything to them and I still looked like I had a patch of withering grass. She kept asking, “You didn’t do anything?”
My saving grace is that I found an amazing pedicure technician….. the owner of the salon where he operates from does wonders with other people’s eyebrows. I kept wondering what she would do to my already dire situation. What’s the worst that could happen?
I was pleasantly surprised. I have never liked my eyebrows but she did such an amazing job that I kept waiting to land modelling contracts. Nothing came through but my eye shadow was now popping, my eye liner was complementing the eyebrows and topping it up with mascara just made me feel like a goddess.
So I went back for an eyebrow update yesterday.
And she shaved my whole forehead. Using a razor. I didn’t know what was going on. But she shaved my forehead. Then decided to attack my eyebrows. First with a razor, then with a drawing pen and then with a highlighter.
I started sweating.
That’s the one thing you should not do if you have a shaved forehead.
I am still waiting to unfurl from this ball of pain and agony.
WHY DID SHE SHAVE MY FOREHEAD?!