Tag Archives: Former Husband

Happy Valentines Day to My Former Husband


I read this valentines day letter that was circulating on my friends’ walls on Facebook and I thought it was pretty neat. I decided to write some sort of response to that letter.

Here Goes!


Dear Love,

Thank you for sharing 60 beautiful Valentines Days with me. Thank you even more for making the days in between each Valentines Day a mere joy to live in this world. Who would have known!? That a man looking for a perfect partner fell in love with, married and still holds hands with the crazy end of the spectrum kind of girl? I think I did. I knew that God had placed me on this earth to shock the socks out of someone and make him believe in Him even more.

Funny that we met on Valentines Day, a day that we both never really celebrated. Funny that by the next Valentines Day, we had been married for four months! I love it that you are a man who makes decisions, who knows what he wants and one who could convince Mrs. Adrian that Njenva needed a husband ASAP! I was so proud at how you handled the grilling and charmed your way into Hipilicious’ and Skinny’s hearts. i didn’t have a perfect family but you loved them with all you had. I love how you respect everybody you interact with and how people end up doing favours especially for you, just because you are a good person.

I am glad that we shared life values and ideals – that a phone or car should be cheap and functional, flowers are overated, travelling to see the world is tres important and R. Kelly should be locked away in Pluto. But what drew me to you was your love of God. And how you play the guitar while worshiping God with your eyes closed. I didn’t  know that you were the most sought after bachelor in your circles until after I visited your church. I also didn’t know that men can keep themselves pure until you requested our pre-marital counselling pastor to draw us diagrams. I am glad we waited. I can’t write more about this without blushing. All I can say is 60 years down the line, I can’t wait to come home to you.

You are THE man! You didn’t lose your sense of masculinity when you lost your job. You allowed me to support you while you tried different options and was also the live in nanny when the twins – Aristotle and Rhonda – arrived. Our children are blessed; they had our values, beliefs, love and blessings drilled into their lives by their daddy from the day they were born. Is it a wonder that they have become who they are now? Love, you made it happen! You had the perfect balance between discipline and negotiation and I am glad that we are part of the movement to change the world, one family at a time.

You have always provided for us. The provision has been in various kinds and forms and the most important thing is that we have never lacked. We have always had a full fuel tank, a fridge with food to eat, a roof over our heads and full hearts. I am grateful to God that you are a man of your word. I never had to re-confirm anything with you. I never got upset that you were late for anything, because you were mostly 15 minutes ahead of schedule. I didn’t have to follow up on the projects we were doing as a family because you kept me constantly and honestly updated. I never had to investigate your whereabouts …….okay…..  I have lied. Old habits die hard.

I had TDS work on your whereabouts and activities twice during our first 8 years of marriage. On both occasions, it was because you were acting like a TDS suspect. So yes, my 40th birthday surprise party was not really a surprise – how did you think I had carried your swimming trunks in my luggage when you said that I should pack for 2 nights for a trip to Isiolo, when I knew you were taking me to Zanzibar? And also, I knew that you had made a final decision to buy the house in Kilifi before you told me. So I acted out; complaining that we had agreed to make decisions as a family, only as a reminder! You very well know that hardly 3 months go by without my insisting that we should spend some time in that house. And that house is a blessing seeing that the twins were conceived there!

I enjoyed our debates. I loved how your intelligence burst out in everyday conversation. I loved how you’d also read my book club books and have a discussion with me before I met up with the girls. Your use of words – exemplary. Your comprehension – outstanding. Your deduction skills – brilliant. Your boys gave up on getting you to spend all weekends with them. You kept on telling them that you didn’t marry me to spend most of my time with other people.

Our hands have never forgotten each other. Our hands were our first point of contact.

Our hands exchanged numbers, dialed each others numbers, texted, e-mailed and chatted.

Our hands exchanged rings, built our home and raised our children.

Our hands were used to soothe each other’s pain away.

We wiped away our tears with our hands and covered our mouths with our hands when we burst out laughing at / with each other.

I have written this entire letter while holding your hand.

Alzheimer’s has made sure that your mind doesn’t remember me or our kids, grand-kids or even your own siblings. It is like our marriage and the last 60 years are the past. Like I am your former wife. But every time I hold your hands, your hands remember mine.

You stubborn husband of mine, if only you would have listened to me when I ranted and RAMBLED about NOT drinking yoghurt – how can something that has to rot before you drink it be good for you!? Who cares about who was right and who was wrong? I know I don’t. All I know is that you are holding my hand on our 60th Valentines Day.

Happy Valentines Day, Kermit!



P.S – Special dedication, remember this song?